We all know that compromise is a necessary skill in relationships. Whether it's deciding on where to eat or negotiating who handles the laundry this week, compromise helps relationships thrive. It’s how we find balance, keep things harmonious, and support each other’s needs.
But here’s the thing: compromise doesn’t serve us in the bedroom. Let me say that again: compromise doesn’t serve us in the bedroom.
As a certified sexuality educator and intimacy coach, my role isn’t to tell you what to do (or not do) in the bedroom. That’s entirely up to you, your relationship, and your experience. As long as it’s consensual, I’ll be the first to cheer you on.
But if there’s one thing I’d advise against, it’s compromise—at least when it comes to your sexual pleasure and intimacy.
Here’s why:
When we compromise in the bedroom, we often feel like we're giving something up—whether it’s a desire, a feeling, or our own comfort. It’s that classic “I’ll do this for you, but I’m not really into it” situation. And while it may seem like an easy way to keep things smooth in the moment, over time, it leads to feelings of obligation and resentment. And that? That kills the vibe and creates distance, which affects the long-term health and satisfaction of the relationship as a whole.
So, what do I suggest instead? Glad you asked! 💃
I believe in the power of co-creation—building on what pleases both partners from a place of collaboration.
Instead of compromising, co-creation invites you to bring your desires to the table, alongside your partner’s, and find ways to blend your needs into something that feels expansive and fulfilling for everyone.
Co-creation is about mutual respect, understanding, and collaboration. It’s about meeting each other where you both are, with love and openness, to create something that serves both partners. When both of you get to show up fully with your desires and needs, it’s not just about giving in—it’s about creating something that feels good for everyone.
So, next time you find yourself wondering whether to compromise, ask yourself:
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What sounds wonderful to me?
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What sounds wonderful to my partner?
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How can we co-create from this space, together?
If you’re ready to break free from the compromise mindset and unlock deeper intimacy and connection, I’d love to support you.
As an intimacy coach, I help couples and individuals co-create fulfilling relationships that thrive on shared pleasure and mutual respect. Together, we can explore how to align your desires with your partner’s and create a sex life that feels deeply satisfying.
Are you ready? Let’s connect.
PS: My introductory coaching rates will end at the end of June, and I’ll be out of office for most of May. But you can secure these rates now! Learn more about my coaching offerings [here].