Real talk. Shopping for sexual wellness products can feel intimidating. While we’re working hard to break down the barriers between women and their pleasure with a comfortable shopping experience, there’s still the whole business of what to do with the thing once it’s home.
If you’re one of the 50% of women who have never tried an adult toy, we want to assure you that we’ve been there and are here to help.
Here are our top eight tips for having a positive first time experience so you can enjoy the gift that keeps on giving.
1. Charge It
It can be a real bummer when you’re ready to go, but your toy isn’t. When you get your toy home, check to make sure it’s charged (each brand is a bit different). If it’s not, plug it in.
2. Get to Know Each Other
Before you jump into bed together, take your time getting to know your new toy. Plan on getting familiar with your new friend at a time when you feel relaxed and undistracted. You won’t actually use it at this phase, you’re just getting used to it.
Read the manual and get familiar with the buttons and settings. Knowing how everything works will give you confidence when it’s time to actually use it, so you can focus on sensations, rather than operations.
3. Testing. Testing. Testing.
A common anxiety point for first-timers is noise and privacy. While the toys we offer are pretty discreet, you’ll feel much better when you know just how far the sound actually travels. Turn on the toy to its highest setting, set it down and walk away. Stand outside your bedroom door and walk around the house listening for rumbles. Knowing the sound range will help you protect your privacy, and enjoy the moment when it comes.
4. Keep It Clean
It’s important to clean your toy before and after each and every use. You can use a mild soap and water (please don’t use antibacterial soap, it will leave a weird residue) or spray it with Dame’s Hand and Vibe Cleaner.
5. Bring Lube
Lubricant is good for everyone, every time. Not only does it help everything feel better, it can also help prevent micro-abrasions which can lead to infections. When using silicone toys, you’ll want to avoid silicone based lubricants. We recommend either Lelo’s Personal Moisturizer for a luxe experience or Dame’s Alu for a more natural choice.
6. Get Comfortable
Like so many things in life, your first time with a toy is all about timing. Choose a time and place where you can focus on you. Turn off phone notifications and turn on some sexy music (or audio erotica). Give yourself permission to let go of that to-do list, because it’s time to do you.
7. Touch Yourself
When it's time to actually use the toy, we highly encourage you to avoid going straight for the goods. Take. Your. Time. Bodies need time to warm up.
Apply the toy to different areas of your body and just notice how it feels. Start with the palm of your hand then move to your neck and shoulders, your stomach, and inside of your thighs. If you’re using a vibrator, place it on the pubic mound, before moving it further south. Good things come to those who wait.
Often, the goal of adult toys is orgasm, and we’re 1,000% here for it. And… we hope you’ll take some pressure off your first time to just enjoy the sensations. Mindfulness and presence play a huge role in pleasure. Notice what you like and what you don’t like without judgment. This is your moment.
But, be prepared, it might just rock your world.
We hope these first timer tips help. If you need help selecting your first toy, we invite you to stop by our boutique in Downtown Olympia or send us your questions here. We love helping people like you feel good.